Who’s afraid of Chinese hospitals?
Some readers have complained that they want less political commentary here. It’s certainly not my intention to make this a political blog, so I’ll regress to some writing that’s about 16 months old.
Those that know the story already will have to forgive the repetition, as I have not been lucky enough to break any bones recently.

In November 2006 I broke my arm while playing table tennis. I decided to undergo the required surgery in Luoyang rather than go home for a less interesting experience. This is my account of the first of four days incarceration in a Chinese hospital.
Day 1
Not unexpectedly, the novelty of foreign flesh to carve up on the operating table and the connections of the Dean pushed my name further up the hospital waiting list than my injuries warranted. There’s absolutely nothing I could do about this other than to refuse treatment altogether; or perhaps that’s just the rationale of a guilty conscience. Either way, they found me a bed almost as quickly as they began charging. Be advised, exchanging informal greetings with a doctor in a Chinese hospital comes with a consultation fee. Even the simplest requests find their way onto the bill, a fact that would have bothered me more if these expenses had not been met by the medical terms of my contract. For the vast majority of people in this country it’s a ‘pay or die’ health care system, and most of them can’t raise the extortionate cost of treatment when ailments are life-threatening. Hospitals are strictly profit making organisations.
My ‘ward’ turned out to be a two-bed holding room for emergency cases that was situated next door to the nurse station. The other occupant, Mr Du, appeared to be in more pieces than a jigsaw. ‘No can du’ would have seemed more appropriate, somehow. During the first two days, before his transfer to another ward, Mr Du was a picture of suffering, especially when his wife was giving him his daily scolding. She would saunter in at about lunchtime and begin a hands-on inspection of her husband’s injuries. Mr Du was audibly distressed but in no condition to demand that his wife give him his trousers back. Thankfully for the unfortunate Du, his nephew was an always present and helpful companion.
Xu Shao Lin, a thoroughly delectable nurse with zero English (or zero inclination to practise), was the first of several to take my blood pressure and temperature, after which she performed a gentle massage above and below the limits of my plaster cast – a sort of rub down from a woman in uniform without the sleaze factor. A promising start, I hear you say. The dream was soon shattered, as I knew it would be, when I made my first visit to the tenth-floor facilities. I held on to the vision of Xu Shao Lin for as long as possible, but we all have to go in the end.
Emptying the bladder was possible with extreme focus and determination. However, if you are anything like me, the prospect of taking a very open dump in cold, damp, unsanitary conditions surrounded by curious onlookers is enough to close the door of even the most relaxed orifice. Inadequate numbers of urinals and only a couple of holes in the floor drove patients and visitors (not that they need much encouragement) to do whatever, wherever. Every receptacle was overflowing with the sludge of a thousand mixed samples. Cleaners periodically soaked up the excess with their mops before using the collected moisture to wipe footprints from the corridor, a most effective way of killing two birds – and possibly a few patients – with one stone.
Thankfully, fortune occasionally favours the desperate. Opposite the hospital was a small hotel that I felt sure could solve my bathroom requirements. With Monica’s help and my insistence, a deal was reached for the use of a room for three hours per day (no visit, no fee) for the duration of my residence in the hospital. The hotel was seedy at best, but room 308 seemed like a vision of paradise compared to the hospital facilities. With the exception of the day I chose to shave, I’d emerge from the room with a satisfied glow in less than one hour, an expression that I’m sure was misinterpreted by the numerous maids eager to see what state I’d left the room in.
The first night was an ordeal of boredom rather than discomfort. Family Du favoured lights-out before nine o’clock and snoring until dawn. He was in bad shape, so I wasn’t about to compromise his need for rest with my need for entertainment. Consequently, I took to wandering the other hospital floors and departments, finding amusement in the faces of the countless patients in the bed-lined corridors. I think I frightened a few of those for whom the existence of foreigners was confirmed for the first time.
Update
Great post from David over at Silk Road International about the China hospital experience.