Foundinchina.com

In a wonderfully uplifting story of customer-turns-tables-on-bank, a solution has been found for people wishing to avenge all those wasted hours at the hands of Chinese banking incompetence, reluctance, and procrastination. There’s only one drawback; you’ll need RMB500 000 to execute it:

A Chongqing bus operator that purchased a bus decided to pay for the RMB500,000 purchase in cash–the kind of cash that bus operators are in no shortage of: RMB1 notes.

The money filled 13 burlap sacks that weighed 30 kilograms each. Put together, they occupied 9 square meters. When the time came to pick up the money, the supplier drove an eight-seat van to Chongqing.

The supplier promptly took the load of bills to a bank on Jinyang Lu (in west Chengdu), where the sacks of money caused an uproar. Seven staff members working four hours per day can make their way through only one bag of bills.

Bank manager Li Wei was annoyed. He and half of his 14-strong staff dedicated their two-hour lunch break to dealing with the massive quantity of bills. According to standard bank procedure, each bill must be sorted into categories based on the bill’s condition, and then by year of production. Then each bill needs to be smoothed out and its corners straightened. Only then can it be counted and bundled into stacks of 100.

Haahaha! Love it! Go here to read the rest.

Priceless stuff from The Onion. A taste:

WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Monday by a panel of top economists and social scientists, the People’s Republic of China will overtake the United States as the world’s dominant asshole by the year 2020.

The findings, published in the most recent issue of Foreign Affairs, support recent speculation that America’s unquestioned reign as the leading super-prick may soon be drawing to a close, leaving China as the foremost shithead among all developed nations.

“We are seeing a changing of the asshole guard,” said Andrew Freireich, noted economist and lead author of the article. “Although the U.S. will remain among the world’s two or three biggest cocks through much of this century, we can now confidently project that China, with its soaring economic growth, ever-expanding cultural influence, and total disregard for basic human rights, will overtake America as King Prick Numero Uno within the next 10 years.”

Added Freireich, “It’s the dawning of a new huge bastard era.”

According to the report, China has slowly emerged as a massive fucker over the past half century, a period of egotistical growth unseen since America’s booming douche years following World War II.

Over that same time, China has seen a dramatic rise in both its GDP and Shithead Index, definite signs that the Asian nation is developing into a cocksucker of global proportions.

http://www.npc.gov.cn/

I strongly recommend the rest to bring a touch of mirth to your day.

"your turn to play the good cop, comrade"

This excellent analysis of the latest round of US-China posturing on Iran and currency issues demonstrates how masterfully the Chinese played their hand in linking these two strange bedfellows to their advantage:

This April Fool’s week announcement that the US was dropping currency as a negotiating variable for a definite maybe on nuclear Iran isn’t a cause for optimism. The Chinese have pushed the Americans around a lot in the first period, and they don’t see much reason to stop now.

China won this one with a head fake and a promise that will never be made public. By moving the debate about renminbi-dollar exchange rates to the back rooms and allowing the Chinese to hijack the US decision-making process, the PRC has not only won this battle — they seem to have solidified their ability to influence US policy at will.

The Timing: For the Chinese to wait until just days before the deadline to apply pressure to change the time, date, transparency, substance and scope of the deal was typical — and in this case, beautifully executed. Instead of a single authorative report accusing the Chinese of manipulation, we are now looking at a never-ending series of international consensus and jaw-boning. Note to internatational deal-makers: when Chinese counter-parties don’t like the substance of a negotiation, they will attempt to delay it, make the discussion less binding, and move the discussion to a more favorable venue.

Forex is a sore subject for the Chinese — even their allies think that the currency is being manipulated. Iran’s attempt to get nuclear capabilities, while seemingly unrelated, gave China the leverage it needed to neutralize America’s most powerful weapon. China’s response was to find a way to link the forex issue to something tht the US cared about but was no-lose for the Chinese side — and that’s how the Iran issue found its way into the forex debate. Note to negotiators: many westerners in China will agree to linkages of seemingly unrelated issues early in the discussion to ‘maintain face and harmony’, only to have it bite them in the back later.

The Chinese will continue wringing concessions out of this administration at will, simply because it can.

Got to say, though. Hu JinTao as the Good Cop while Grandpa Wen was the Tough Guy? Well played, my friends. Well played.

It is naive in the extreme for the US to believe that an offer of watered-down currency manipulation charges is going to buy them any real progress from the Chinese on the Iranian nuclear issue; Hu will now quite happily stall and obfuscate in typical CCP fashion.

Watch this space.